How to be the Best Father of the Bride or Groom:
Congratulations! Your son or daughter has just become engaged! After the initial panic that your children are growing up, excitement sets in... As a father, you may be wondering exactly what you can do to help and how you can be there for your children. Though weddings are dramatised as a female event, Father’s are crucial for advice and sanity!
Father of the Bride:
Traditionally you would have one of the biggest roles in planning the wedding... One big, Father-shaped wallet! For centuries it has been tradition that the father of the bride pays for the wedding... These days, it’s very common for the couple to pay themselves, or for both families to donate a set amount of money. Whether you choose to pay all or any is entirely up to you and perfectly acceptable. As a father is can be very difficult to see your little girl grow up and get married. I am sure that for many fathers no one will ever seem good enough for her! Try to keep an open mind about your soon to be son in law as your precious little angel loves him so much that she is making the ultimate commitment to him, and him to her. You will need to be there for your daughter to add some sanity onto her life during the planning process. It can be very stressful and you may see many changes in both her and her mother. They haven’t gone totally mad and all will return to normal after the wedding is over.
There has never been a better time for some good old fashioned male bonding with your soon to be son in law. Getting together for a beer while the women are off playing with flowers and such is a great idea! If you also have sons, invite them along also so you can all laugh about how crazy all the women have become! It will be very important for the newest member of your family to feel accepted... Look back to when you were getting married to put it all into perspective. Although traditionally mother’s do a lot of the planning with their daughters, it is nice to try to include yourself in some of the planning. All little girls have a special soft spot for their Daddies, and asking her some simple questions about the planning will make her feel so special! Just something simple like going to see the wedding venue with her will suffice... It’s a lovely gesture which won’t soon be forgotten.
As the father of the bride, you will more than likely be expected to make a speech at the wedding. If you aren’t so good with public speaking, start practicing early. There are many great books on improving your skills. When writing your speech don’t be afraid to ask for help! Even if you wish for the speech to be a secret from your daughter you can still ask her opinions without giving too much away. Ask her if there are things she would like you to speak about specifically or things which she would rather you not mention at all!
Father of the Groom:
This is the perfect time for Father-Son bonding! Your son will more than likely need some time away from flowers, females and fashion to do some blokey things! This is a great time to sit down together and reflect on previous years. If you’re a bit of a story teller, tell him some tales of your own wedding planning and compare it to what he’s going through... You’ll be surprised at how much the two of you will laugh! There are some little things you can do with your son regarding the wedding planning. One of these is picking out suits for him to wear on the day. Buying or renting a suit for a wedding is a momentous occasion and it will be nice to do it together. Traditionally, the Groom’s side pay for the alcohol at the wedding. Discuss this with your son early on in the planning process to see if this is what either of you want if you can afford it. It is not expected so much these days and all depends on how traditionally you approach it.
Father of the groom may be expected to deliver a speech at the wedding. Speak to your son about this a few months prior to the event. By that time, his fiancée should have planned out some sort of vague timeline for the day and you will know if you are expected to speak or not. At this time, let them know the way you feel and if you do or don’t want to speak. Also speak to your son and his fiancée about things to be said in the speech if you are in fact speaking.
Father of the Bride:
Traditionally you would have one of the biggest roles in planning the wedding... One big, Father-shaped wallet! For centuries it has been tradition that the father of the bride pays for the wedding... These days, it’s very common for the couple to pay themselves, or for both families to donate a set amount of money. Whether you choose to pay all or any is entirely up to you and perfectly acceptable. As a father is can be very difficult to see your little girl grow up and get married. I am sure that for many fathers no one will ever seem good enough for her! Try to keep an open mind about your soon to be son in law as your precious little angel loves him so much that she is making the ultimate commitment to him, and him to her. You will need to be there for your daughter to add some sanity onto her life during the planning process. It can be very stressful and you may see many changes in both her and her mother. They haven’t gone totally mad and all will return to normal after the wedding is over.
There has never been a better time for some good old fashioned male bonding with your soon to be son in law. Getting together for a beer while the women are off playing with flowers and such is a great idea! If you also have sons, invite them along also so you can all laugh about how crazy all the women have become! It will be very important for the newest member of your family to feel accepted... Look back to when you were getting married to put it all into perspective. Although traditionally mother’s do a lot of the planning with their daughters, it is nice to try to include yourself in some of the planning. All little girls have a special soft spot for their Daddies, and asking her some simple questions about the planning will make her feel so special! Just something simple like going to see the wedding venue with her will suffice... It’s a lovely gesture which won’t soon be forgotten.
As the father of the bride, you will more than likely be expected to make a speech at the wedding. If you aren’t so good with public speaking, start practicing early. There are many great books on improving your skills. When writing your speech don’t be afraid to ask for help! Even if you wish for the speech to be a secret from your daughter you can still ask her opinions without giving too much away. Ask her if there are things she would like you to speak about specifically or things which she would rather you not mention at all!
Father of the Groom:
This is the perfect time for Father-Son bonding! Your son will more than likely need some time away from flowers, females and fashion to do some blokey things! This is a great time to sit down together and reflect on previous years. If you’re a bit of a story teller, tell him some tales of your own wedding planning and compare it to what he’s going through... You’ll be surprised at how much the two of you will laugh! There are some little things you can do with your son regarding the wedding planning. One of these is picking out suits for him to wear on the day. Buying or renting a suit for a wedding is a momentous occasion and it will be nice to do it together. Traditionally, the Groom’s side pay for the alcohol at the wedding. Discuss this with your son early on in the planning process to see if this is what either of you want if you can afford it. It is not expected so much these days and all depends on how traditionally you approach it.
Father of the groom may be expected to deliver a speech at the wedding. Speak to your son about this a few months prior to the event. By that time, his fiancée should have planned out some sort of vague timeline for the day and you will know if you are expected to speak or not. At this time, let them know the way you feel and if you do or don’t want to speak. Also speak to your son and his fiancée about things to be said in the speech if you are in fact speaking.