Grounds for dismissal??

[tytalbreliam]

I wasnt going to post again but just wanted those concerned about my lack of understanding of how hard it is to know that I do know.
I am from a family of abused women. I have been through it with my mum (physical and mental), my sister has been physically abused by her boyfriend and wont leave. I was mentally (emotionally) abused in a couple of my relationships. I got out, it is extremely hard and scary but she can do it too if she wants to.

[Catherine 6 September 2008]

Wow Bonnie, just wanted to say bigs *hugs* to you hun and thankyou for sharing that. You are such a strong woman and I applaud you for being so strong, and for sharing your choices with us.

Widge, I am so sorry you are having a tough time of it at the moment hun. But I have to agree with most of the other girls, I would not take that kind of behaviour at all, for your FH to tell you he was at the races when he texted you and lie continually, that would be a huge issue for me - I don't ever feel the need to call/text Vaughan and ask him where he is cause I trust him and never worry he'd be anywhere without telling me where he was going for real.

I really thing there's more at issue here than your FH dumping his BM from the wedding, or you being upset at the BM for encouraging your FH not to tell you the truth of his whereabouts. The issue for me is the dishonesty displayed by your FH. I really, really hope you can sort this out but please don't make excuses for your FH he has treated you really shabbily hun and you are a good person, you do not deserve to be treated like that.
xoxo

[Brigie Bear]

widg, in answer to your question, i do not think you are overreacting at all. i think what the guy did is wrong wrong wrong!! he influenced a man to lie to his future wife and that does not sit well with me. i would NOT associate with anyone who did the same to me - family or not. On the other hand, i do tend to agree with the other girls also... The guy may have influenced ur FH to lie, but the bottom line is that he made his own decision to do it. I know he told u without you having to bully it out of him, but the fact that he did it in the first place would be the problem to me. I think too many men and women think a lie isnt a lie if you come clean about it - to me, a lie is a lie and thats the bottom line. I do NOT like lying... i can put up with most sh!t, but not that. I know many of these opinions arent really ones u want to hear babe, but sometimes its better for people not to sugar coat it. it could have been very easy for us all to come on here and give you hugs and say you're right, but in the end that doesnt really help your situation. I really feel for u as u have posted a few times nasty things that he has done. i really hope you're ok.

[Sass]

Originally Posted by Brigie Bear

it could have been very easy for us all to come on here and give you hugs and say you're right, but in the end that doesnt really help your situation. I really feel for u as u have posted a few times nasty things that he has done. i really hope you're ok.

I agree with you BB. I have often read posts where people have mentioned the awful things their FHs put them through or say to them and others post back and say everyone goes through this leading up to a wedding and its just stress and everyone argues blah blah. I personally disagree with that theory. (Since planning this wedding I feel more in love than ever and I didn't think that was possible). I usually don't post because I disagree with that theory about arguments with FH close to the wedding but feel it is time to say that noone deserves to be treated poorly by anyone..BM or FH. Sorry. I do feel for you and I hope it is sorted out soon.

[Rebecca25]

Well I like Bonnie was not going to reply again but Veronica said that she is not disputing the issue/s She and FH have,She was simply asking whether or not she had a right to dump this BM.
I actually agree that if this is a constant and there are issues I think it should not be put up with,but i also think that when we have such personal and maybe touchy issues for the poster we should PM or email our concerns I don't think it helps veronica to think that she is wrong or to blame(I know she has choices but we really don't know what that are) in some way for how things are going ATM and Us as readers really do only know a portion of this persons life so I wasn't saying You all aren't right I just don't think opinions on other factors of one's post should be so bluntly told in the actual post(I don't even know if that made sense)
Meh Sorry to offend you all :)

[Catherine 6 September 2008]

I agree that there is no cause to attack anyone or post harsh replies. But I have to point out that I honestly don't think anyone on here posted anything in any way blaming Widge for the situation, or said she was wrong, that would just be crazy.

The thing that was pointed out was that, whilst there is clearly an issue with the BM behaving badly, there is a much bigger issue with the FH behaving even more badly. And as people who genuinely care about Widget, we don't like hearing about her being hurt or upset, and like Bonnie said it can be infuriating to read about a FH hurting someone we all love and care about.

Anyway, I don't want to get involved or be seen as starting anything, just wanted to end this by saying Widget, if you ever need to talk, PM me or come into Flash of an evening, and remember we are all here to listen hun *hugs*

[Widget]

By Geez...

This was never about sympathy and it was never about DF...

Rebecca said it straight... I did not ask for ANYTHING about DF and I most certainly have not asked for sympathy...

And for the record... he WAS at the wedding, we went and saw the bride and groom this morning to get the BM of that weddings number to see if DF's phone was in his car... I don't doubt that for a second, his cousin and wife are conniving so and sos and I get that people who like him don't like me and vice versa... That's just the way we are, we attract different kinds of people...

Anyways it's been and done I don't want sympathy, didn't ask for it, didn't ask for opinions on my DF at ALL.

I asked a simple question about his BM and if I was in the wrong for feeling the way I do and come on to find everyone slagging my future husband...

Yes, we have problems, who doesn't? I don't air everything and I'm sure some of you don't air any at all. Life is NOT a farytale and there is always going to be hiccups...

whichever mod gets to this next - close it, I've had enough of my DF being slagged, I've already had it out with him and don't need to have it thrown in my face over and over everytime I come here...

Seeya when I seeyas