Grounds for dismissal??

[Widget]

I'm a little upset and a tad peeved atm so this might not make sense...

On Friday DF was asked if he wanted to go to the races at rosehill in the corporate box on Saturday by his cousin - our best man...

DF was SO excited as he's never been to the races before and he was looking forward to it...

Anyways, thought it was a little weird that they weren't leaving til 2pm but let it slide...

The girls were in bed by 6:30pm so come 7pm I was SO bored outta my brain I thought I'd ring him and see how things were going... You know, get some entertainment into me... No answer, get a text message though so I rang straight back and no answer - thinking there HAS to be a reason why he doesn't want to talk to me, he left on good terms... I sent him a text at 7:30 asking if the races were over yet and if he knew roughly how long til he got home... He sent me a txt at 7:40 saying the races were still going...

Ok, I can try and entertain myself a little - didn't feel like jumping online so I channel surfed for a little (quite boring with only 3 to choose from LOL) ended up watching Crackerjack and washing the bottles in the ads...

When that finished I tried to call again... No answer... Left it for a bit... Rang again at 11pm coz I was SO tired and bored, still no answer so I left a voice message telling him not to wake me and to sleep in the spare room and headed for bed...

Woke at 1am (yay for me) and he STILL wasn't home... Rang his mobile AGAIN and left a message telling him he'd better have a darned good reason for not being home at 1am from the RACES!! Recovered the kids and went back to bed...

He got in after 4am... I queried where he'd been and as usual he wasn't in the mood to talk... Said he'd been at the hospital since 1am coz his cousin (BM) is a f wit who got trashed and started stuff and a patron threw him through a glass door...

I got up to double check on the girls and loo break, climbed back into bed and it dawned on me...

We moved our e-party back 2 weeks as his cousin HAD to be at his neighbours wedding on the 27th of September... So I commented on how I thought his BM had to go to the wedding and his response was "isn't that next week?" I said no, it was yesterday we moved our e-party so he could come...

Went back to sleep...

Got DF up at 8am as we had heaps to do today - firstly find his lost phone - and just said I thought BM would have been going to the wedding coz his wife was in the bridal party...

He said "He did".

So DF went to this wedding without my knowledge, had me worried all night coz I couldn't contact him - i almost rang his Mum who is very ill after her heart attack a couple of weeks ago...

When I asked why he didn't just tell me he said BM said "just roll with it"... So he did...

DF still stands by saying that he was at the hospital from 1am, but it wasn't a patron who threw him through a glass door, it was his WIFE after he bailed on her at the wedding to go home with 2 18yr olds from the reception... I reckon she saw the hickies on his neck which is why she punched him in the first place, but from there it got bad on both sides, he didn't hit her, but he shoved her into the corner of the high/low kitchen cupboards which was when she shoved him through the glass sliding doors at the back of their house... Anyways... That wasn't really necessary, but just yeah...

So...

I'm upset that DF didn't just tell me when he found out and that he went with his BM idea, but I'm PEEVED to the max that someone we "trust" (not anymore) told him to lie to me.. What right does he have to tell him to lie to me???

To me... If the one of the bridal party is telling one of us to LIE to the other, they're saying that they don't trust in our relationship, therefore do not support our union...

Am I over-reacting by wanting him out of the bridal party?? I'm even contemplating (seriously) telling him and his wife that they are not welcome at the e-party in 2 weeks - I know that should be a joint desicion though...

I just know that if his BM comes anywhere near me, I will bite his off about telling DF to lie to me...

[Rebecca25]

Not over-reacting at all BUT FH cannot be made to lie and if he didn't want to go he wouldn't have.
He is trying to pass the blame i am afraid by saying it is his BM fault he lied and what ever.
Why didn't he just text and say he was heading to a wedding,actually why did he go to a wedding anyways was he invited?
Wow lots of question sorry,the whole story seems odd to me.
*hugs*

[~Catherine~]

I am sorry but your FH is a grown man and he was the one to lie to you no one else. He didn't have a gun held to his head. Yes teh Gm told him to lie but it was your FH who continued to lie.

[Widget]

I know DF was the one who lied after he found out...

No, he wasn't invited, apparently they were short ONE so his BM lied to him to get him there as he knew he wouldn't go if I wasn't invited as well... There were 5 empty seats at DF's table...

I know DF chose to continue the lie and DF knows how I feel about that...

What I want to know is if I'm taking it the wrong way by saying that his BM doesn't believe in our ability to deal with these as they come by insisting DF continue BM's lie and am I wrong in not wanting him as part of my wedding anymore???

I know DF lied to me of his own free choice once he found out and he has heard about it ALL day...

It was a long hot walk back 3 suburbs to get to the car as well as his cousin drove...

[blossy]

I'm pretty hard line I guess, but I just wouldn't associate with people that behaved like that.

[tytalbreliam]

The behaviour of your FH and the cousin is disgusting. My FH would never do that to me nor would he allow ANYONE to do anything to hurt me. In his opinion anyone who doesn't respect me and his children aren't worth associating with.

[boss lady]

yeh not good he lied to u...maybe before u say that sit down and have a chat to DF and BM...about the whole situation...hear it all before u do anything

[Sass]

Whoah! That situation is so not on in my household. What were they thinking lying to you!

[MrsT2b]

I would be reading him the RIOT act and turning a certain appendage into earrings!!!!!

Seriously -- if he lied to u over this, what else has he lied about? It was HIS choice to go along with GM to the wedding... No one twisted his arm or held a gun to his head! It was HIS choice to not answer his phone....

**shakes head**

[ozwiccagal]

that is so not cool. i'm sorry that this happened and i would be pissed at both fh and the bm. And i agree that some serious talking needs to go on with both of them.