I know I'm not a bride anymore, so I guess this is a Mrs-zilla vent...

[Catherine 6 September 2008]

Just wanted to come on here and vent this, cause I don't want to say anything to Vaughan, or whinge about it to anyone else, but I know you girls will understand.

I'm sure most of you remember all the dramas we had with SIL and MIL in the lead-up to the wedding, with the end result of SIL and her husband not coming to the wedding, or even RSVPing to let us know, because their 3 kids weren't invited. Anyway, Vaughan and I were going through our list of gifts we have received and making sure we have all the names and presents correct for when we do our thank-you cards, and it just struck me as really sad that we have never received even a card or a phone call from his Mum or his sister. We didn't expect a gift from him Mum, she contributed $6000 to the wedding which was great, but she did it grudgingly, and we never had any sort of congratulations afterwards, not even a phone call, or anything. And as for his sister, its like we no longer exist to her, no card, no present, no phone call, nothing.

This isn't about me wanting gifts from them, but just neither of them have bothered to congratulate us or acknowledge our wedding, and its just so sad! All of Vaughan's other relatives have been amazing, his grandmother embroidered all these towels with love hearts and flowers for us, and his other grandma, who doesn't have alot of $$$, flew all the way down from Qld to come to the wedding, and apologised profusely for her lovely gift of a vase being so small - we were like, Yvonne don't be so silly, we're so glad you're here and we love the vase, its gorgeous. They all made such an effort and were so supportive and sweet, but from his two closest relatives, MIL and SIL, nothing!

And I am doubly peeved because there were some extended family members of his we didn't invite, like some cousins and aunts/uncles, because MIL and SIL had made narky comments about us inviting all these extended rellies we don't see much instead of his own niece and nephew, and we didn't even invite Vaughan's Dad, who he doesn't know that well cause he and Vaughan's Mum split when he was 4, but he has visited and spoken to over the phone a fair bit, but we didn't invite him cause we didn't want to make his Mum uncomfortable, but now I wish we had!

Whew, sorry its such a long and rambling vent, but just had to get it out, and like I said didn't want to discuss it with Vaughan cause I know he's really hurting about SIL treating him so badly, and don't want to upset him any more. For anyone who made it through that whole thing, thanks so much for reading/listening!
xoxo

[Sass]

Oh Cat- I still can't believe SIL didn't turn up to her own brother's wedding. I think one day she will really regret that bad decision. I just couldn't imagine doing that to any of my family or Simon's family. I would be eternaly guilty for being so selfish. But that's another story. I know what you are most upset about is the lack of acknowledgement as well. It is just plain rude to not even respond to a formal wedding invitation with a card wishing the couple nice thoughts for the day. I can't understand how she could not even do that! She sounds like a bitter, self-centred woman but as I said I think she will in time regret her poor decision. For MIL to not even send you a note of best wishes is sad to. I'm sure those kind words would have meant more than her $6000. I know you can't choose your family so just try and remember that they are being the immature ones. I'm sure you and your family and friends can give Vaughan all the love and care he deserves. I do feel for him though. Sorry not much to help but I understand where you are coming from and I would be upset too. *hugs*

[starposs]

Cat, that is so horrioble!! And I know that your not complaining about the gifts, a card would mean soooo much more! I undersatdna bout not being able to vent to Vaughan about it as e are in the same situation. Bretts parents and his sister have said they arent coming to our wedding because his sister is not a bm, his parents now said that they are but his sister isn't. Brett has said if she doesn't thats it, he will never speak to her again and while I don't like her, I want her to come to our wedding because I know how devastating it will be for Brett if she doesn't. Anyway, didn't mean to turn this post about me, just saying that I so know where you are coming from and my heart breaks for poor Vaughan. People are so self centered and selfish, and I am with Sass and know that one day she will regret her decision to not go. She probably regrets her decision now, but is too stubborn to admit it. Big hugs to you and Vaughan sweetie xx

[Beejay]

Awww honey - you are so well within your rights to be upset about this - and I think you have let me know you well enough on here to know that you sooo aren't about the gift side of it - more the fact they COMPLETELY wrote it off....the fact that she STILL hasn't contacted him is INEXCUSABLE.

Big hugs to both of you - it must be hurting him right now

xxx

[Catherine 6 September 2008]

Thanks so much for the kinds words of support girls, its so good to be able to come on here and chat/vent to all you lovely ladies! *hugs* to all of you

[Ingrid 18 April 2009]

babe this situo really sucks!!
God I cant even imagine how devastated Vaughan must feel.
SIL is just so selfish - i cant imagine how she could sit there on your wedding day and not feel guilty for not going!!
Hugs

[Alevy]

You poor thing! I really feel for Vaughan as well... What a horrible situation they have made this whole thing to be. Very selfish and childish of them to behave this way after so many years you've known them!! In some sense I think she's just jealous that you two are happy and is simply trying rain over your happiness.

I hope they come to their senses if not your just going to have to ignore them and remember that you and Vaughan are happy, in love and will always be there for each other.

Lots of Hugs

[ozwiccagal]

cat - i'm so sad that both you and your hubby are going through this *hugs*

[AmberW]

Oh Cat, it's just so awful but you have handled it so well! I really admire you.
We will be - and I guess already are - in the same situation with Ben's Dad, so I really feel your pain of not being able to help your H/FH. I wish I could fix it for Ben! I'd feel so much better if it was happening to me, or within my family as I feel that I could deal with it then. But for it to be Ben's or Vaughan's families takes it completely out of our hands and I hate only being able to offer support and love when I simply wish I could just make it all go away!
Big hugs to you and I completely understand! (by the way, isn't it just the most gorgeous rainy thundery day today!? I love it! How was your breakkie on Sat? Sorry to ramble!)
xox

[sxcbbw]

Oh Cat - i dont think u realise how special u really are because of the way u r dealing with this issue. You should be very proud of urself.

Vaughan sister sounds very childish for allowing this 2 happen. How could see seriously sit around, knowing that her wonderful brother is gettin married and not bother 2 attend.

I too have a situation similar to this. My eldest brother has told me that due to a falling out he has had with our sister if she ever attends anything he is invited to he will leave. I have to admit that when he told me this i was a little shocked and then told him that no matter what happened between them that he is just acting like a spoilt little brat. I dont think he liked my opinion, but he got it anyway.

Sorry for rambling.

We are so glad u came on here 2 have ur vent. Im sure if u had tried 2 speak 2 Vaughan about this issue he would of become more and could of possibly caused a fight between you which neither of u need!

Again another reason for u 2 b proud of urself

Hugs to both u nd Vaughan
Heres hoping that hi sister comes 2 her senses ....SOON

Jo!