Little bit sad

[~Catherine~]

Hi

Just thought I would share some thoughts. I messages one of my bridemaids yesterday to see if she has had her engagement party as I hadnt heard anything (havent spoken in a while both really busy).
So I get a message saying that it was last year in July /errr/ ok well then I was seeing you then and having lunch etc and no invite. Ok so assume then that I am not invited to the wedding as I wasnt invited to the engagement party.
So I get the message that the ceremony is here and what time and feel free to come along. Wow by now I am shattered, had our friendship really gone like this that I wasnt invited to a friend of 8yrs wedding because we hadnt really spoken in about 6mths bar the message sent for Xmas birthdays etc.
Now I know it sounds really petty but I am heartbroken and very sad about this. I tell her this and basically she says 'Sometimes unfortunately it's just the way the life is, everyone has priorities and commitments which is completely understandable and sometimes friendships drift apart, through no fault of anyone. I don't hold any hard feelings for what has happened with our friendship'.
So do I have a right to be upset or should I just forget about ..... she is my DD1 godmother (even though they arent baptised yet ) I just cant stop thinking about it and how I must be the worst friend in the world.
Sorry for babbling but needed to get it out

[steph]

oh cat that is a really sad, you remembered her birthday and xmas so dont blame yourself . a friendship works two ways. she will understand what life is about when she has kids a hubby and everyday things to deal with. if anything ( and sorry for saying this ) she is not worth it , for the simple reason you did not get invited to the e party , fair enough if she didnt invite you to the wedding as you had lost contact but the e party is another thing, considering you were still talking . shes not a real friend anyway so chin up your better of without friends like that

[Chevlimo]

That is terrible. How sad she felt that way that she couldn't even invite you!

I'm terrible for keeping in touch with my BM's. One is a highschool friend who lives in Perth. We talk once every 4-6 months and catch up once a year! But every time we talk it's like we saw each other yesterday. It's like nothings ever changed and we have no high expectations of each other to do more than that.

My other BM lives here in Bunbury and I haven't seen her since March!!! I've tried calling her a few times but she's never home and I don't leave messages as I'm just as hard to get hold of! But still we are best friends and accept we are both busy but it doesn't mean we don't care about each other. If we ever have a problem we ring each other first and are always there no matter what.

I guess I'm really blessed to have two such fantastic friends.

Catehrine I'm sure you are a wonderful person and your BM has lost a true friend in her selfishness.

[~**Jen**~]

Oh Cat that is so bad!! I don't blame you for being upset. Rach and I have a friendship where we can tal everyday for a year and then go for 6 months without talking but never would I ever think we were not close friends. I love that we don't have to talk all the time to know we will always be there for each other.

I would talk to her and tell her how hurt you are. I feel so bad for you it is so heartbreaking!!

I hope it all gets sorted out :)

[louellyn]

That is very sad and you have every right to be upset and a bit angry also.

It is true that some friendships drift apart but true friendships should be able to survive time and distance.

As others have said friendship takes two and if this woman has indicated that she considers the friendship is over then chin up - it gives you more time and emotion to dedicate to your true friendships.

[Aims]

I understand how you are feeling. I have been best friends with someone for 8 years and it was great for the first 7, we are now getting engaged and moving forward in our lives... I don't think it is anything to do with how good of a friend you are... it is just a matter of you finding someone else who is your best friend and her doing the same thing. Remember that you will always have a special place in her heart because you were friends for so long but things are always changing and people are constantly growing.
Appreciate the people you have in your life now and love yourself.

[Christine]

Cat, sending you big hugs.

I'm so sorry. I would be ver upset and angry too.

[Princess_Jez]

aw Cat - I would def be angry at this too :(

I cant beleive shes just thrown away a friendship of 8 years just like that. there are many times when i dont see some of my best friends for months and months, but we all know that happens and were still best of friends and are there for eachother when we need to be.

its pretty sad, i bet she will regret this later in life....

**big hugs cath**

[menica22]

That is terrible!!! You poor thing. I agree with Princess Jezz she will regret it

[kelzbelz05]

I have to agree with all Cat, and you shouldn't blame yourself as it goes both ways in a relationship as they say.

And I have to agree with Steph in that if you were still having something to do with her when she had her engagement party then she either hasn't told you that she has something wrong with you or she is just very rude. 8 years is along time.

I to have a friend of almost, mmmm gosh 17 years. I was in her wedding and she to is going to be in mine. She is my MOH and although we live in the same town we haven't had a lot to do with each other as she has a 5 month old and I just had Chloe so we have both been flat out, but then when we ring each other (you know how hard it is to get out with kids!), it's like time hasn't passed.

Don't beat yourself over it Cat and I really know that is easier said than done, but at the end of the day what can you do about it because she sounds like she has already made her mind up?